CRU Cookout!

We kicked the school year off with an amazing 

cookout sponsored by Campus Crusade for Christ. 

Most of you have heard me talk about this amazing 

campus ministry that we're a part of, 

but for those who don't know, 

it's quite possibly one the best things 

to ever happen to me in my life. 

And a lot of good things have happened... 

but this wasn't just good, 

it was God. 

The cookout served as a great way to get the word 

out about Cru and a great chance to talk to freshman 

and new students about God. 

We truly are blessed that we have the opportunity 

to have ministry outreach like this. 

Alleson came from Asheboro 

to come hang out with us and enjoy some fellowship.

It's great to have her back from Summershine, 

and to hear all her wonderful God stories that 

she's been able to experience. 

I'm so blessed to have her as a fellow sister in Christ 

and always honest and accountable friend. 

Ally brought Kevin The Camera 

with her to the cookout and got some snapshots of us 

for the blog. Here are my favorite ladies and I, 

hanging out on the patio of Hinshaw during the cookout. 

Love my girls! 

and of course the three of us, acting "normal" for the camera. 

Is is bad to say this is how we are all the time? 

We love each other for a lot of reasons, 

but our lack of sanity is probably on my top 5 list. 

I love my two best friends, more than words. 

I would not be where I am 

if God didn't put them in my life. 

Family is through bond not blood, 

and this is an unbreakable bond.

the typical, 

"my mouth is full, 

stop trying to take a picture of me, 

picture."

Nice right? 

Probably one of my favorite pictures of MB and I. 

It's so wonderful to attached at the hip with this girl again, 

So blessed, to have her as my best friend and sister,

I'd have no other than her. 

the gang all together, 

I'm blessed. 

That's really all have to say. 

Not a day goes by that I don't thank God 

for these kids and how He works through them. 

John 13: 34-35. always.

Back Home.

"You're in the orchestra and this music is easy. 

If you can't read this music... 

well go join the choir instead!" 

-Mr. B

Being back at school means we're back at Lawndale, 

back where I belong. 

I'm so happy that all day, my Sunday's are spent with my 

phenomenal God and amazing Church family. 

Literally all Sunday that is. 

Sinnce our schedule has changed due to building reconstruction, 

my days look something like this: 

8:30- head to church to play in the early service with the orchestra

9:30- Panera Bread for breakfast and quiet time

10:45- contemporary service with the college kids 

12:30- lunch! Yay for good ol' Southern cookin'!

1:15- Bible Study 

(some Sunday's include a 6pm fellowship night) 

but I would never spend my days anywhere else but here! 

LOVE!!!

Along with Sunday's, 

I'm so happy to spend my Wednesday's with this amazing 

group of people. My orchestra has become my family, 

I love them so! 

And I love the fact that two Sunday's ago, 

Dr. Joe went up for his sermon and told the congregation 

that he had asked a little boy what the large instrument 

on the end of the orchestra was (referring to my bassoon) 

and the little boy told him excitedly that it was a 

"BAZOOKA!"

Thus,

I've earned the nickname Bazooka in orchestra :)

If you're ever in Greensboro, 

I encourage you to drop by and worship with us. 

It will change your life, 

boy did it change my mine. 

facebook fast fail.

So I suck at facebook fasting, let's just face it. And because of that, I've had to convince myself that Facebook is literally the devil. Why you ask? 

The seven deadly sins: 

Lust: how many times have you stalked the profile 

of the one you're "in love with" on facebook.

Gluttony: think of all that time you've spent on facebook

when you could be doing something way more productive. 

Greed: How many more friends can we get, how many more photos

of ourselves can we post, how many ways can we shove our lives 

into someone else's face? 

Yeah...

Laziness: This just speaks for itself...

Wrath: When something on someone's facebook page, 

or someone on facebook, just sets you off

and you feel the need to write awful, 

terrible things on facebook about this person. 

Envy: all those times we envy someone's life

due to what they post on facebook. 

Pride: Statuses about how amazing our lives, 

(or awful...) but really, who needs to boost 

themselves on their own internet lives? 

And for Christians, I think this is our biggest one. 

We spend a lot of time talking about how amazing 

we all are as Christians, even though sometimes, 

we don't really mean to, 

it's still an issue. 

Now, this is not to attack anyone, because if this is the case, I'm totally guilty of these. But this is just how I have to convince myself, to stay off facebook, or just stay very, communication reasons only, limited. I really need to work on relying on God and not relying on other people. Just a thought. 

xoxo

-anya:)

The Bread Boy

My life has been crashing down around me recently and I've felt that there's been no hope for anything anymore.  God has been sending me little messages that literally say "do not worry."
The other day I bought a ring that says:
Phil 4:6 -Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  
(because we all know that I have a big worry problem, I had to purchase it.)
When I got home that night, I had an email from K-love, a Christian radio station. The email contained the daily Bible verse and it happened to be Phil 4:6. Talk about God moment, first one I've had in awhile.  Along with this, I've had texts from MB that just says "stop worrying", emails from Dayspring store advertising merchandise and stories about worry, and over 15 books from Oma about healing and anxiety. 
Although, all these signs kept popping up,  I still went into work rather upset yesterday.  I just recently decided to change my major, my health is a rollercoaster, Zach is lost in a pit of depression, I still haven't heard from Nate (although my brother has, but that's another story, one which indicates that all is well between us and I should not worry, although I do it anyway,) and MB was acting strange. I felt things were disjointed and I couldn't get back into the groove of life. The anxiety had taken over all my thoughts and I had lost sight of my trust in God. That was until a boy about 12 came up to me and asked me to show him where to get the white bread. I took him to isle 11 and pointed out where he can find what he needed.  A few minutes later he came through my line ready to check out. Our conversation went something like this: 
Me: I hope you found what your mother wanted. 
Boy: Yes, ma'am. This is exactly what she needed, thank you so much for your help.
Me: Well, that's what I'm here for, to help kids like you find their groceries. (I then handed him his change)
Boy: Thank you so much ma'am. I'll pray for you and hope you have a blessed day! 
Me: You have no idea how much it means to me to hear a kid your age say that. 
Boy: Well, ma'am, I'm a Christian, I'm not ashamed of my faith and I think everyone should know that Jesus loves them and so do I. That's what my faith is all about. 
Me: You truly have made my day so much better.  I want you to know that I'm a Christian too and what you just told me has given me hope again. Thank you so much.


When the boy walked away with his bread,  I turned around and knelt down beside my register with tears streaming down my face.  This was the hope I needed, the messenger that God sent to me to tell me that He loved me and was going to take care of me.  A little boy and his bread, as simple as one little kid can be, he was the one, the one who guided me back to the light. Kiddo, thank you for that, for being honest with your faith.  


"How can I love, without grace?
Shine a light on Your face,
If you're real, then show me now,
Who you are" 
-Glass Pear

God.

"I have always responded with breathless excitement to anyone who has ever said that God does not live in a dogmatic scripture or in a distant throne in the sky, but instead abides very close to us indeed—much closer than we can imagine, breathing right through our own hearts." -Eat Love Pray

Greensboro Daytrip :)

Back in June, Nate, Alex, Corbin, and I all met up in Greensboro for a fun filled day with our church, Lawndale Baptist, which we have missed tons. tons, tons!! 

Nate and I kicked the day off with an incredible church service.  Dr. Joe always knows how to serve a phenomenal sermon! This sermon was particularly special because it happened to be on "our" Bible verse and how God commands His angels to guide us, 

John 13- 34-35

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

We consider this verse to be mine, Nate, and MB's verse. 

During a long talk a few months ago, I told Nate that I considered him to be my angel because he showed up right when I needed someone most in my life.  Nate pulled out his Bible and showed me this verse, explaining that it's because of God's love, that Nate loves me.  Ever since then, this has been our verse.  The fact that the Lawndale service (which neither of us had attended since school let out) was about this verse, really meant something special to us. It was especially special to me, who had been struggling with trusting in God and knowing that He would take care of things.  This sermon was proof that He never fails at showing me the little clues that He's always going to guide me.  

Along with an amazing sermon, it was great just to be back with the people I love and my amazing church family, my how I've missed Mr. B- our orchestra director, Dr. Joe, and our youth pastor, Dave! Totally worth the drive to get back to Greensboro and back to Lawndale :)

After service Nate wanted to hit up a Korean buffet 

before heading to his quartet rehearsal 

before the Lawndale cookout that afternoon.  

This is his plate, obviously he's had a lot of experience 

eating Korean food.  Unlike me because...

this is my plate, how very American of me to 

get the typical Asian food.  But the good news is,

 he convinced me to eat fermented cabbage, pickled cucumbers 

(which is kind of redundant) and I got to see BoA and H.O.T.

 on the Korean music video channel that was playing 

in the restaurant, major throwback to middle school! 

After lunch we had plans to go the Lawndale cookout

 but Nate had to go to rehearsal before we could leave. 

So we met up with Alex and Corbin once we got to UNCG. 

Actually "meet up" isn't really the best way to describe it. 

More like planning to meet up but seeing the twins

while we were driving down the street, which is 

when I leaned over and laid on the horn, which was

about the same time Nate hit the brakes on a speed bump, 

hit reverse, rolled down the windows, and yelled 

for Alex and Corbin to get in the car.  

I feel awful for anyone who had to witness this. 

While Nate was cello-ing it up, 

the twins and I headed down to the

 woods to play in the creek and 

explore some abandoned 

once-was house properties. 

but because I wasn't expecting to actually go 

hiking I left my change of clothes in Nate's car 

and had to hike in what I wore to 

church that morning.  How fashionable I 

was to be hiking in embellished sandals...

eventually we decided it was time for some 

cool air and headed to the mall where

 I saw the most disgusting sight of my life... 

(not Alex haha) 

but instead a vending machine for make-up. 

Way to close the store but put in a vending machine, 

think of all the job loss, it's sickening.  

but the good news? 

free water at Starbucks, 

heck yes. 

and as usual Nate's rehearsal ran over so 

when we got back to the music building two hours later, 

we had to entertain ourselves someway.  

So while listening in on Nate's quartet, 

we decided to get artsy and create this little buddy 

(with the plastic eye ball that was found in Alex and Corbin's car.) 

we then entertained ourselves with the 

beauty of the music building garden 

and all the little dragon flies swooping around. 

And then it was off we go to the Lawndale cook-out!!

 A great time was had by all and it was wonderful to catch up 

with all our friends, feast on hot dogs and burgers, 

play cards, watch basketball and 

enjoy time spent together. 

Alex and the cupcake are by far, 

the greatest part of this photo. 

my best friends, my brothers, the loves of my life <3

Nate's always wanted a hedgehog, but of course, 

it's very hard for me to get him a real one. 

So instead I had to settle for some non-breathing ones. 

 This is Hobey, it makes me happy that he looks like 

Nate with the hair and all.  He has a sister who 

was in my travel bag at the time.  

Nate was pretty excited, he even asked if he 

had to brush them to take care of them, 

aw, it's true love right there.  

So there you have it, our amazing adventure to Greensboro!! 

Tell me friends, what amazing adventures 

have you gone on this summer? 

xoxo

-anya:)

Hope.

It's been a really hard day. My past has suddenly come back to haunt me, and my mind once again got ahead of my heart.  But in the midst of all that pain I've been feeling, a glimmer of hope set my heart a flutter at work today.  

MB has been at work and Nate is off to camp and hasn't been able to pick up the phone, which is hard when you're in need of prayer.  When things like this happen, when people can't get in contact with me, I worry. It's part of my nature, I'm a very emotional person, very motherly person, and I owe my body for that one.  For those who don't know, I was diagnosed with the disease, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, my senior year of high school.  It's a disease that targets the female organs causing growths to develop and chemical and hormone imbalances.  Nate calls it permanent PMS, and along with that is a combo of Type 2 Diabetes, Thyroid Disease, and a lot of emotional and physical self-conscious problems.  But the biggest concern in my life, though I’m only 19, is that PCOS remains the leading cause of infertility in women and that's been one of my biggest struggles. I love children, always have, always will.  I don't dream about getting married, I dream about having children, but I know that there's not a very good chance of that. 

My health has seemingly only gotten worse since I was diagnosed. However, as much as I hate this disease, I must also thank it.  It has brought me to God. And the day after it brought me to God, God brought Nate to me-- while  in the middle of a hormonal breakdown.  But Nate didn’t care, he helped the strange bassoonist with the disease anyway and now look at us, attached at the hip, loved and loving.   And because it brought me to Nate, it’s brought me to MB and the night that the two of them sat in the practice room holding me and telling me it was going to be alright, that my health was going to get better.  I knew MB for only a few days before that night happened, but it didn’t matter- she sat there anyway and held me until I stopped crying.  It has led me to a church that accepts me and a bassoon studio that understands.  PCOS has led me away from my once-was, angry feminist beliefs, and into the arms of the Lord who loves me, just the way I am.  

However this knowledge sometimes disappears when I’m stuck in an emotional whirlpool of feelings and hurt.  Mostly because the hurt comes from myself because I can’t control it. Earlier today I was a wreck of tears for no real reason at all.  And upon the realization that I didn’t know why I was crying, I got even more upset.  This vicious cycle led me to thinking, who could ever love this mess of a person? But it’s silly, I know who loves me, God, my family, Nate, MB, Zach, Alex, Corbin, Ally, they all love me. So if that’s the case, then why can’t I love myself? My cats even love me, what was wrong with me? 

These emotions went on throughout the day and eventually into work.  As much as I didn’t have the nerve to go into work today, I know there was a reason that God sent me anyway.  I stood there for 30 minutes voiding out an order that a woman decided she didn’t want anymore, consisting of over 100 items.  She was frustrated, I was frustrated, my bagger boy was frustrated, but I refused to let my anger show, so I smiled as much as possible.  Behind the angry customer was a boy about my age waiting patiently.  I looked up at him and he smiled at me, I could tell he was a special needs child.  He came over to where I was standing and asked if I had seen his mom who was standing with him a few minutes ago.  I told him no, but if he waited I would help him find her, he interrupted me to ask my name. I told him it was Annaliese and his face lit up.  
“That’s a beautiful name!! Such a beautiful name and it fits you perfectly Miss Annaliese! A beautiful name for a beautiful girl!” 
I smiled at the sweet boy, speechless, not knowing what to say.  How could he ever understand that something like that was what I needed to hear? Something as simple as accepting me for who I am, was what I needed to get me through this battle with myself. He looked right past the physical problems, the acne, and the fact my eyes were still swollen and makeup-less from crying all day, he saw me. Me. It seemed so simple after that moment.  “Me” is how God created me, and how could I nor anyone else not love that? There is no other person in this world quite like me, quite like you, quite like him or her, no other.  And because of that, we must love ourselves, that’s the way it is. That’s the reason God made it that way.  

MB talked me through tonight as I faced a different battle, one that I hadn’t faced since sophomore year of high school but one that I continue to remember and hurt over.  She sent me a text before she went to bed about the Bible verse she was studying that night. 

Isaiah 9:1

But there will be no gloom for her who was in anguish....

I’ve marked this in my Bible along with the verse Nate found for me a few weeks ago while doing quiet time. 

Hebrews 10: 32-39 

32 But recall in the former days when, after you were enlightened, you endured a hard struggle with sufferings 33 sometimes being publicly exposed to reproach and affliction, and sometimes being partners with those so treated. 34 For you had compassion on those in prison, and you joyfully accepted to plundering of your property, since you knew that you yourselves had a better possession and an abiding one.  35 Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. 36 For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what is promised. 37 For,  “Yet a little while and the coming one will come and will not delay;

38 but my righteous one shall live by faith, my soul has no pleasure in him.” 

39 But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those  who have faith and preserve their souls. 

Both these verses give me the strength to go from day to day, no matter what my troubles are, not just because they came from the two people who love me unconditionally, but because the verses speak right from God’s heart.  I pray that you all will find something that inspires you the way it has inspired me. Something that will help you conquer that last rut you’re afraid to cross over, that last obstacle holding you back, or that last person telling you that you can’t.  Because with God anything is possible, His love, conquers all.  Because all you need is love and love is all you need. 

So tell me friends, tell me your stories? You’re all inspirations in someway so now tell me who, where, what, inspires you to make it through?

have a beautiful Tuesday, friends! 

xoxo

-anya:)